While you're dying I'll be still alive.

Waiting for that execution was paaaaainful. Travis just HAD to be out clubbing with teh bucksum laydeez all night, didn't he? The result was somewhat unexpected-- I knew it would happen sooner or later, just not now. I'm a bit torn as to what to say, so, I have two sides to this.

Half of me says: omg, wut, Jinjo is gone. Frontrunner'd. Shit sucks. You were definitely a sizable chunk of the life of this game. Two of the loud people/trolls in live challenges executed in a row? OH SHIT. All we have left now is me and perennial house guest old Uncle Orville (crosses fingers). Honestly, this game won't be the same without you. In fact, there will be one less player.

Other half of me says: no women on the interbutts.

I don't have much to say that I can put into text right now otherwise.

R/CRS

Confessional Cing: Story Hoard

We made money. More than what is in my pocket at this time. Hurray. Challenge discussion time with Mr. Wright begins now.

Spies Like Us (Again, no special title. I'm not feeling very creative right now.) was, to my surprise, a success. As the double-investigator, I find myself at least 35% responsible for our success, with the rest going to that guy with the blue pawn, you know, Bill Bellamy or whatever

 his name is, and Brian and Elise for dicking up their guesses. If only they had killed meeee. It just goes to show that Brian and Elise have shit luck.

It was a Dark and Stormy Homosexual Pornography Studio was probably my least favorite challenge in this entire game. Yeah, it was worse than Vagina Sore Comics. Coming home to stories about me raiding panties/pantries was somewhat amusing, but scrolling through the second story left an awful taste in my mouth. Don't get me wrong, I'm up for as much sexual innuendo as the next guy, but there's a point when it just needs to stop. Especially when it involves the 100 Acre Wood. What a strange, distorted pornographic tale that was. Also, I wasn't ther for the beginning of that shitses, so I was screwed anyway. Whatever. Shit sucks.

Finarry, Story Time (AKA I make fun of things you do) was fairly successful. Now I'm going to make fun of things you did:

Shockingly enough, that was the most accurate picture. Drawn by Jinjo as according to my tits-awesome sentence, Humpty here appears to have an awful foot growth imbalance which I'm sure made his childhood undoubtedly littered with mockery and name-calling. In addition, he is an egg. I'm sure that went over well with the rest of the yolks (LOLOLOLOL).

Apparently, in some distant universe, this picture resembled the sentence "Magnificent calcium carbonate-encased albumen mammalia obtained egregiously oversized vertical downward velocity." You see it too, right? I enjoy how the man with the stocky thighs and large mammalian reproduction unit left a crossbow standing straight up beneath his legs, as to draw attention to his cattle prod. He also has quite the deal of underarm hair. The corn-rowed fellow on the right is short in comparison to him, and I'm not sure how he's going to deal with the dihydrogen monoxide molecule that is being passed to him without his consent.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking-- "All of the ass and all the big man men not put egg as it was." Same here. Honestly, when I saw this, I thought I was supposed to print it out, cut along the edges and fold it into a cube. When I looked at it for an extended period of time, I realized the abstract intracacies of it. I believe the squares in a sort of staircase arrangement portray the men struggling to reassemble poor Humpty. The diagonal red line clearly shows the ass's strife putting egg as it was.

Srsly tho guize, for the second sentence, how about "Fantasy eggshell character plummeted downwards rapidly?" Clearly overcomplicated. MOAL. And the quiz... well, I'm going to take it. I'm not nervous. And that ain't not no bull.

I feel fantastic and I'm still alive.

Still here. Still here, still here still here still here. Teehee. I'm a bit giddy. Mitch, mah boi, how can I describe you? You were a pretty good lulz generator (until inactivity set in). You might have had to take my place had I left earlier than thou. I'm not surprised, though, as I'm sure everyone will say (zomg penalites!!!11!!1). You managed to look overly-moley with your "sabotage" (read: ineptitude). Your confidence outshone my nuts:

We'll see what happens with the quiz. I have a -2 penalty but I don't really care, I'll still be here.

C U l8r, alig8r. On another note, how sad is it that Travis had to take that question out of the quiz? Come on, srsly pplz, b-o-d-y t-e-x-t. You're reading it right now. Not that difficult. I guess it just reflects our X-TR33M challenge skills.

EDIT: Also reflecting our extreme skills: Our person that knows everything is afraid of the ghost of another player.

DOUBLE EDIT: You have corn-based porridge for me to kiss, Blaise? If you insist... but picking on Brian's grammar (even though it's different than spelling) is a bit too large of a task. I need some me time.

E/VLV

Confessional Quatre: Trust Funds

Congratulations once again, players. This group is a money-making machine.

The live challenges, combined in one delightful package called Where in Washington D.C. is Travis's Creativity? were successes as usual. The Deal or No Deal-esque one was a total bitch. So brief I don't care to comment otherwise. Fucking Hangman was a super awesome turnout for us as well, even without Travis's pity. We totally scored with the hanging body twice. Paul and his AIDS narrowed it down to defenestrate and teledendrite or some shit like that and I totally was all "defenstrate." Then I totally was teh firts one to say penny after N was guessed. I am so awesome. Sad face: the letter L did not appear EVEN ONCE.

I now move on to the appropriately and ingeniously titled "Word Game." It was a game, and it most definitely contained words. The words were even made up of letters. I maed me a doller. Yaaay. Feels good man.

Annnnd the main event, Trust Falls, fell flat on it's ass. Brian and I were ofc the only ones to earn any legitimate currency, proving that the keys to success are threats and honesty. Jinjo, Jill, and Paulie had the lol pulled over their eyes by three players with small internet penises. I won't be mentioning your names in this post. You don't deserve it. So there.

The quiz, the quiz, the quiz, the quiz.... hmmm. Nothing to say, really. I hope someone logs on to one of their accounts again. That would be nice.

Bear with me.

My computer contracted some sort of venereal disease or virus. I'm trying to figure out a way to get rid of it without HJT. I might not be on all too much, hence the title.

In the meantime, here is a picture of ham for your enjoyment:

Dearest Blaisemer...

Breaux called me illiterate for my actions at the Heist challenge. I guess posting twice BEFORE the challenge even started or you know actually losing the challenge is okay though. Here's a pro-tip, logon to Gmail more than once in a blue moon, then you can flirt with Ginger some more :D

1. A sense of humor is necessary to associate with me.

2. I guess posting once BEFORE before the challenge even started or you know actually losing the challenge is okay though.

3. Here's a protip: if you are not available to use a computer, then you cannot use GMail.

4. Blargenfdibblenoghehnothanks.

5. ???

6. PROFIT!

I'm doing science and I'm still alive.

Two more vagoos down, some other number to go. First I shall write my Obituaries (Get it? I'm a journalist. Man, funny stuff.). Kyle, we exchanged one single line directly to each other on GChat. Touching. Not that I didn't like you or anything, I thought you were just fine, but didn't know you all too well. Although, I have heard that you are "the sexiest mole." Since every lie is half true, I guess we know which part of that is true. Eeew.

Beth, my Dinosaur Comics partner, my puts unnecessary phrases in parentheses between other punctuation pal, my player that I really didn't know much about because you were a shut-in. Except that you have a dog. Because you were walking it when I tried to talk to you. Anyway, not surprised to see you gone. It's a bit of a disappointment since I agree with what Paul said about you hopefully staying around.

On that note, it's like everybody want to look like a bitch! Like, I'm not going to post some fake confessional that says I'm PMSing! I mean, it's ridiculous. Would someone who uses the phrase "fake confessional" link to something they don't understand or whine about it and put ads on their blog? I just find it a total waste of time and space! I'd rather post something useful and entertaining! As for me, I'd rather disagree with the previous sentence! I find it insulting to the mole! If I was the mole, I'd be REALLY angry. Like, somebody wants to do take credit for all the crap I'm doing? That's like... violating my vaginal space!

Here's the Mole's ideas on how what we should do this upcoming episode/week: Let's not shit up. Easy as that.  Be suspicious looking; I don't care. That's the game. I'm going to go James Quall some other blogs. Spaghetti and meatballs.

Oh, and Travis... you would watch Gossip Girl.

A/XBGNRHT

Confessional Trois: The Blame Game

What a dandy episode. I suppose I should begin with discussing Where in Washington DC is Our Teamwork?. Well, that challenge was moar or less the textbook definition of "fluke." Actually, some of it was done well, such as when I did things, like when I totally knew where that carousel was. I also came up with the two regular answers (not entirely), more or less. Some people had to go and jump the gun and jack my credit. Hmph. The last answer, guess the connection, was a total giveaway. I'm kind of surprised Travis gave it to us for Statues of Presidents, since neither the Washington Monument or the White House are statues of Presidents. Then again, everyone would have bitched and whined and moaned if he didn't give it to us. The challenge wasn't as fun as Instant Sexpervs, but I was still balls deep in it from start to finish. Such is the way of the mole.

Heist, on the other hand, was a sad, sad failure. As part of the Recess team, AKA The Cool Kids that Beat Up the Kids in Study Hall, I can say that I was able to be effectively lazy. That's what I always did during recess in school. I went on the nearest computer and typed "RUN" and then waited for several hours. In other news, my lip-stapling threat obviously did not carry through very well. Perhaps it's just that Blaise is illiterate. I don't think it's that great of an idea to shit on a dollar when we don't even know if either of the other Study Hall-ers or if all of the CKtBUtKiSH (LOL BUTKISH) are on. (Note about Heist: Sorry, I was doing crack, LSD, acid, peyote, and some other shit I can't recognize, so some of my comments about things before were kinda skewed. Mind you, certain things I still stand by.)

Then the MB/MP/Travisneverremembersthatit'snotMPanymore Challenge, Mole Arcade, was actually fun. Sorta. At first. Music Catch is lulzy, Skywire is lovely, Combo is for newfags, and Boomshine had nice music (but that's about all it had going for it). The Link-a-Pics shits was alright. Not much of a challenge when they show you what the finished product looks like. At least my compulsive checking on OMC stuff finally paid off in the form of trailing Ginger Snaps by only $1.

As for the execution, I'm going to be fairly sincere for once. I think I'm going to dick up this quiz. I just feel like this is the end for me, and if it is, NOT COOL MAN. I honestly like this game. I want to stay. So let's not dick this one up. Well, not you. You should just not send in the quiz at all. Ann Hiro it. There's no point, you're hopeless.

And believe me, I am still alive.

Well wasn't that new execution interface just a HOOT? I sure love the process of elimination. About you darlings who got the boot, Richard, you were a shifty little fellow. Always looking so mole-esque. Rather convincing, I must say. Brandon, hi. Nice meeting you. Did we speak? I don't recall. I'm speaking in short sentences.

The quiz had nice questions. Easily distributable with buffer players in many answers. Thanks, Travis, for another double execution. You didn't say if there were going to be any more triple executions, now did you... or quadruple... and. So. Forth.

Well, I hope the challenges don't blow too hard this week. Maybe the MB challenge won't be steered directly in the direction of a graphic deisgner once again (That's right. Directly in the direction.). We can only hope. About those puzzles, though... lolwut. The first one was easy as 3.1415926535897932384, but the second is queer.

U/SDLG

Confessional Deux: Comic Relief

Note: For some reason, the font and text size is extremely screwy. I can't get it to all stay the same (sometimes).

There is one word to describe this week: successful. Our lovely long-term challenge was lathed rather quickly. Why? MITCH. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. I'M BLAMING YOU. The challenge was a failure, all thanks to him, and I really do care. I know others made the same mistake just somewhere further down the line, but it's quite something to stress about. For everyone. He can get un-riled up about it all he wants.

c wot i did thar

In other news, I strongly dislike the Dinosaur Comics challenge. It smelled like doody. For as long as I've read Dinosaur Comics, I've seldom laughed (excluding slight chuckles). I hope tlarchuk here comes up with something better for these next episodes. Well, I guess I could just ask him. I am the mole after all. Maybe I can even pull a few strings.

LOLOLOL NEARLY FORGOT ABOUT WEBCOMIC REMIX. Thanks to my superior skills of laziness, I gotsted me a moalbukxs.

I'm going to go watch Toy Story. Goodbye.

Still Alive

This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

As for the departed, Cheri, I actually talked to you. Isn't that adorable. Ellery, hi. Bye. Fifteesha, you were my favorite player of all. Silent but deadly. Toodles, Cheri, adieu, Ellery, and LOL, 15. I'll make sure your pawns don't collect too much dust.

As a side note, I won't leave the letter "a" out of others' names, unlike some other people I know.

EDIT: But it's been fixed now, so it's all good. Gracias, Ginger.

X/RTRP

Confessional Un: Sounds Difficult

Bless me father for I have sinned. (GET IT? IT'S LIKE CONFESSING YOUR SINS IN RECONCILIATION HAHAHA THAT IS SO FUNNY AND ORIGINAL WHAT A CHARACTER I AM)

I don't know what to say, to be honest. There's not much to say yet. Some people piss me off just from what I've read. I know who the mole is (because it's me), so I don't have to worry about the execution. And three people getting the axe? It would be lulzy to weed out some of the lamers. That's all floating around for now.

However, now that we have finished teh firts liev chalenj, I have a bit more to say. Firstly, I am the best person in the world. Only the best person in the world would answer most of the questions AND come up with the stupendously ingenious strategy called "guess numbers." Oh man, I am amazing. I mean, I've got to be THE nicest mole for doing that for you pleebz. Secondly, Player 15, you are one active little lady (you are now a female to me whether or not you like it). Stop running circles around me. Thirdly and finally, LOL @ PENALTIES.

Good day.

The last horse crosses the finish line...

...in the form of an inkblot.

Just for lulz.